Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Parking "enforcement"

I should have blogged about this much sooner, but I kept forgetting. Instant classic!

When wifey was still pregnant, she had it pretty rough. Her feet had swelled up so much that she bought a pair of shoes one shoe-size larger than usual -- and they still didn't fit unless she had the laces untied, gangsta-style. She had back pains, and carpal tunnel in both of her wrists. Rough times, yo!

She took comfort in little things, like being able to use the "parking for expecting mothers" spots at the mall. Sometimes the spots are labelled "parking for parents with child" or "parking for parents with small children", but we parked in those spots too, because pregnant moms deserve them just as much as mothers of newborns. They've got strollers! She's got swollen feet!

This sets the table for today's story! We head to the Sheridan Center (map), a fairly ghetto mall, to finalize some baby stuff. My wife was 38 weeks pregnant at the time. We score one of the above-mentioned parking spots and head in. We weren't in the mall for more than 10 minutes, and we found this letter on our windshield wiper when we got back:

You can click for a larger version, but here's what it read:

Why are you parked
here, there is no
car seat in your car
This space is for people with infant's

Shame on you!

I have reported your
licience to the police

I already started chuckling before reading this note, because I could see from a distance that someone had left a message on the car, and that it wasn't going to be nice. I was laughing even more after I read it. What a loser! In less than 10 minutes, they snooped around the car, scribbled a note, and then scurried off like Chris Childs

First of all the grammar is off. "Infant's" is the possessive for "infant", not the plural, dummy! If you're going to punk me about being stupid, try not to look stupid in the process. Secondly, having a car seat in my car doesn't prove that I have an infant, it just proves that I have a car seat in my car. Lastly, there is no law that I'm aware of prohibiting people from parking in those spots. If jerks want to be jerks, let them be jerks, don't leave letters on their windshields! You run the risk of embarrassing yourself when a really pregnant woman walks out and reads your stupid note.

Any of you have similar loser stories?


Lena! said...

Here's a tidbit of information for you: Regardless of what they are labelled - "parking for expecting mothers", "parking for parents with child" - etc - ALL of these spots are designated for pregnant women - and THAT'S the law, regardless of how the store chooses to word it. Trust me, I'm anal enough to look into it. I started parking in the spots when I was 6 months pregnant - not because my ankles were swollen, but because

a) I was pregnant
b) I had a child (inside me), and
c) the child WAS small - much smaller than that 4 year old brat with two perfectly useful legs.

Lil Lex said...

Preach on, sista!

chinwhat said...

i dont think those spots are legal. its a courtesy done from the lot owner/mall etc.

Lena! said...

That's true, chin. Let's not throw around legal jargon if we don't have to.

By the way chin, you won a contest on my blog. I'm giving up your prize unless you e-mail me in the next... 18 hours.