Monday, April 20, 2009

Raptors report card 2K9

We should be watching the Raptors in the playoffs, but instead I'm blogging about a disappointing season, full of finger pointing, what-ifs, and suggestions for righting this wrong-ass ship. Sigh. Being a Raptors fan is a tough gig.

What if CB4 wasn't injured during that stretch in February? What if he didn't have any baby mama drama? Could he have sustained his numbers from November, when ACC fans were chanting "MVP"?

What if Jose Calderon had a healthy hamstring all season? We saw him eat up opposing point guards during the last 13 games, and few Raptor fans remember that he was doing the same before the injury.

What if Andrea Bargnani blew up at the beginning of the season, instead of the middle? What if Raptor fans and Sam Mitchell had faith and patience?

What if Bryan Colangelo fired Coach Mitchell before training camp?

What if Jermaine O'neal didn't hurt his knee? He scored 24, 23, and 36 points in the 3 games before he got injured. He was warming up! Would people be talking about JO "not fitting" if he was putting up 20 and 10?

What if Joey Graham was more consistent?
What if Jason Kapono was more consistent?
What if ... uhh fuck it I'm not typing all of this out.

What if Jamario Moon was, you know, like he was in 2008? What if we never knew the name "Will Solomon"?

What if we didn't lose heartbreakers to Detroit, Boston, and New Jersey, so early in the season?

So where does Raptor Nation go from here? I'll save that for another post.

Friday, April 10, 2009

All about baby!

Everyone is excited about CathyAl's baby! We've been receiving a lot of love, and we're both very grateful.

Thanks to Lena, who made sure that we were aware of Zeller's moonlight madness, an opportunity to grab baby stuff at bargain prices.

Also, big thanks to SaraDooch, and TeamID's first baby, Cash, for hooking us up with Raptor claw baby bibs!

We're past the halfway point, and looking forward to meeting our son/daughter. Only 15 more weeks to go (or less ... gulp)!

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

March Not-so-Madness?

I got into an argument with my friend Jon the other day. I think he's going to win.

You see, it's March Madness time, and everyone that's cool puts money down on who's going to win the NCAA basketball championship. You go to the website of your choice, like ESPN, pick who's going to win during each round of the tournament, and then you sit in front of the TV watching basketball and waiting for the money to roll in. Easy enough, right?

Well, he tells me that since I don't know a lot about college basketball, I should just select the higher-seeded team at each round. "That's boring, you dumb, stupid, ugly loser!", I tell him. "It's also ineffective ... You could be missing out on big points from crazy upsets." Note that I probably shouldn't be using quotations, because I'm paraphrasing (regardless of the fact that Jon is indeed dumb, stupid, ugly, and a loser).

But hey, he deserves at least the 15 minutes required to determine the credibility of his statements, so I went ahead and tried to find out how many points he would have scored using his grade 3ish technique (I actually took the time in order to further humiliate him, but as you will find out, the joke is on me).

Scoring 10 points for each correct selection during the round of 64, 20 points for the round of 32, 40 points for the sweet sixteen, and 80 points for the elite eight, here's what Jon would have scored with his selections:

Round of 64
Jon: 220 points
Al: 250 points

Ha! I win, bitch!

Round of 32
Jon:280 points
Al: 240 points

Shit ... well, I'm still in it!

Sweet Sixteen
Jon: 240 points
Al: 160 points

Stupid UConn! Or is it stupid Al?

Elite Eight
Jon: 160 points
Al: 80 points

Yikes! Why Memphis, why!? That's the last time I'm ever listening to Justin Timberlake

In total (up to this point):
Jon: 900 points
Al: 730 points

Jon's score is not only enough to smoke my bracket, but actually it would give him the lead over everyone in our group. Of course, there's still the two games in the final four, and the championship game, which would both require you to do something different, since all four teams in your bracket would be seeded #1 ... But ... 900 points without even thinking is a pretty big score.

I'm going to listen to Jon more often from now on. He's wise, which doesn't mean he's smart, it just means that he's really, really, old.