Thursday, January 31, 2008

Help me end the writer's strike


... Because I just watched the season premiere of Lost, and it rocked! I can't imagine waiting a whole week to see the next episode, let alone the 8 episodes that haven't been filmed yet due to the writer's strike.

Please help me! Let's get out there and help with the negotiation process. Show them they need to think about the people ... The people need you. Your writing is the sweet, sweet drug, and I need more of it. I'm getting the shakes as I write this. I need answers, dammit! You can't do this to me!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Raptors 122, Wizards 83

... That's more like it!

It seemed that the Raps were concentrating specifically on boxing out and grabbing defensive boards. The untrained Raptor fan was probably elated at the offensive output. I was more excited at this stat: Every Raptor had at least one defensive rebound, except for crappy Juan Dixon.
  • I hope that Jose Calderon can crack the all-star lineup this year
  • I hope that Andrea Bargnani has got his groove back
  • I hope that DeShawn Stevenson and/or Drew Gooden call of this bet, and shave their beards. You look like a bunch of idiots!
  • I hope that we beat the Lakers on Friday

Raptors 104, Wizards 108

Somebody ... please ... rebound the basketball! It's very simple, really. When the shot goes up, you don't stare at the ball. You find a player on the opposing team, and you bump him. Ensure, he has no forward momentum. Then, if the shot doesn't go in the basket, you jump for it. You chase it. You secure it.

AP's game-tying 3-ball, Chris Bosh's monster effort, the return of Kris Humphries on the offensive end, Jose Calderon's maestro skills ... All gone to waste.

Rebound, dammit!

We left to pick up dinner just before halftime. The Raps were up 4. We come back in the third, and the Raps were down 10! WTF?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Raptors 106, Bucks 75

2 game winning streak! Revenge on the Bucks! Kev's computer is fixed! Green squares for everybody! Good times had by all.
  • Delfino is beginning to show consistency. Kapono is not.
  • AP perfect from the field! He's rounding into mid-season form.
  • Chris Bosh was on fire the whole night.
  • Damn you Bogut + Williams! I had y'all on my fantasy team.

Friday, January 25, 2008

I called it


This is my new girl, Ana Ivanovic. She's hot. I hereby call first dibs. Don't let anyone tell you that they knew about her first. For real.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Raptors 114, Celtics 112

4th time's a charm!
  • Jose Calderon has gone from quirky Spaniard, to solid backup, to terrific starter, to absolute monster.
  • CB4's shot was on all night.
  • Andrea Bargnani: I've seen nights like this before, where you show everyone why you were drafted first overall. I haven't seen them on consecutive nights. Let's come back strong against the Bucks!
  • Juan Dixon: If you ask me, 9 minutes is 10 minutes too much for a scrub like you.
  • Did anyone else see Sam Mitchell squat like he was about to take a dump, and pump both of his fists like he was pumping a hooker doggystyle?! And then he put his poker face back on, cuz he realized that he wasn't at home watching the game ... he was coaching it!
  • Please keep the ball away from Ray-Ray. Please!
  • How difficult is it to grab an defensive rebound? Box out, dummies!
  • Missing: Kris Humphries. Missing since west coast road trip.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Review: Cloverfield

I just played basketball with my friends for the first time in a few months. My body hurts everywhere. My hips, my back, and my feet throb if I attempt to move. On top of that, I worked out my abs at the gym for the first time in a few months, and now I need to use other muscles in order to sit up in bed. It's pathetic.

But...

Not as pathetic as Cloverfield! ...Yes, that tie-in was lame, but I needed to write about my muscle pain, as I am grimacing at this very moment. But I'm a trooper, and I will write this post when I should be lying on a bed of ice instead.

Cloverfield is by far the most disappointing movie that I've ever watched, in comparison to my expectations. I was so pumped to watch this movie, that I was willing to standing in line for 1 hour + to catch the 11:45 PM show. The mystery of the trailers, coupled with JJ Abrams' producer credits, coupled with my love for big-budget destroy-the-whole-city movies, should have equaled success.

I feel betrayed by the marketing hype-machine. What will happen with the kick-ass trailers that we watched on Friday night? Hellboy 2? Iron Man? Star Trek 8? I was pumped for each of those, but after Cloverfield stole my innocence, I will never love a movie trailer again.

So what made Cloverfield such a failure? *** SPOILER WARNING STARTS ***
  • I couldn't care less about the characters. Their motives all sucked. There wasn't enough time to build any of them to a point to where I cared about them. So I didn't care when they died.
  • I've seen this all before. I Am Legend did a better job at painting a fallen Manhattan. Godzilla showed us a monster destroying buildings in NY. Outbreak and Aliens showed us the panic of contagion and crazy little critters infecting you with their alien crappiness. Children of Men and Saving Private Ryan had scenes with armies moving through the city. So what was new and exciting about any of it?
  • I hate cheesy love scenes.
  • I hate crappy comic relief.
  • Faking digital camcorder footage sucks. This format doesn't work. The lack of quick cuts leaves you disinterested as you continue to stare at stuff that was interesting for the first half a second, but not for the other 9.5 seconds. It also leaves you dizzy.
  • The lack of a score also sucked. Music made movies like Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction.
*** SPOILER WARNING ENDS ***

I like to end my posts with a witty comment to tie everything together. But I'm tired. Just promise you'll heed my advice. Don't watch this movie.

Raptors 95, Sixers 99

I apologize to all Raptor fans for my comments on my last post. Looking past the Sixers was wrong.

No wait, fuck that. Juan Dixon got 23 minutes? No wonder we fucking lost!

Also, a memo to Andrea Bargnani: You are seven feet tall! Rebound the gatdamn basketball!

I shall return to sacrificing virgin towel girls and Irish Spring Raptors Dance Pak girls for the basketball gods, in hopes that it will please them to give us the edge against Boston on Wednesday night.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Raptors 89, Hawks 78

I was the only one last night cheering for the Raps because I am a Raptors fan. These other yahoos had players on their fantasy teams. Despicable.
  • Chris Bosh is blowing up in January. My favourite stat from last night's performance: 14 free throw attempts. What a beast!
  • AP has found his offensive rhythm from last year.
  • Anthony Johnson is straight thuggish, and extremely petty ... not a good combination indeed. You suck!
  • If you're not careful when you drive to the basket, you might have Jamario Moon introduce your face to Spalding.
  • Carlos Delfino gets the award for fastest hero to zero: 0-7 from the floor, and he missed his free throws!
I am totally looking past the Sixers tonight ... This Wednesday is our last chance to beat the Celtics! C'mon, they're old and tired, let's get 'em!

Monday, January 14, 2008

What's on your iPod?

After the wife and I left our condo for the burbs, we added 30 minutes+ to our morning commute. It only gets worse when the new home in Milton is ready. But no worries, I say, as long as we have music in the car!

I quickly found, however, that 4 gigs was not enough music to satisfy us during our commuting hours. "This friggin song ... again?!"

So I try to download new music often, and switch up my MP3s as often as possible. I'll even try listening to music that I wouldn't normally listen to, since I have more hours then I can count.

Here's a small sample of what's on my iPod ... today. Who knows what'll be there tomorrow. What are you listening to? Lemme know!

- Rock Band album: I can 5-star the vocals ... in my car. And I have an appreciation for classic rock, heavy metal, and Seattle grunge that I didn't have 5 years ago.
- Amy Winehouse: This is the most soulful white girl I've ever heard in my life. In fact, I thought I had the wrong album when I first started listening to it.
- Jay-Z: 70 of the 698 songs (10%) on my iPod feature Young Hova. It's like a security blanket, I can't go too far without albums like Reasonable Doubt or Kingdom Come.
- The Roots, Common, Lauryn Hill: Yo Chin, gimme props!
- Lupe Fiasco: His second album, The Cool, is as tight as his first.
- Kelly Clarkson: Don't hate! I'm not ashamed, I love it!
- Aaliyah: Including the track, "Miss U" ... for real.
- M.I.A.: Yo, this shit is wack!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Raptors 116, Blazers 109

I don't need this kind of drama in my life! I now know why Jeff Van Gundy looks like he ages right in front of our eyes. I've added 3 worry lines on my face during the fourth quarter alone ... Frig!
  • Raptor block party, hosted by Chris Bosh & Jamario Moon: "Get that gah-bage outta here!"
  • AP blew up today, and hit a lot of clutch shots.
  • Jamario Moon
  • Chris Bosh almost had back-to-back 40 point nights. Remember at the beginning of the year, people saying that he didn't look too impressive? Well, take a look at him now: 55 minutes, bitches! And he still looked good in 2OT, hitting free throws and taking it strong to the bucket.
  • Do you remember where Calderon was during his rookie year? He has come a long way for sure. Add to his resume: clutch performer. Uno, Dos, Tres!
  • I said it once, and I'll say it again: Brandon Roy is a baller. His 3-ball to force the second overtime was crazy.
  • I hope we see more of aggressive, play-making, shot-burying Carlos Delfino.
  • I hope we see less of Darrick Martin.
  • Humphries was the toast of the west coast road trip ... but ... What's going on, is he taking a vacation?!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Raptors 99, Knicks 90

Holy crap, NY fans hate Isiah Thomas. And they aren't too fond of their Knicks either. Why couldn't Zeke see this coming? You're going to put together the league's biggest ball hogs, and expect them to pass the ball?

Anyways, I don't care if you want to build a crappy team, I only care about the Raps taking care of business. We've been on a slide lately, and winning games against the Sixers and the Knicks were important.
  • CB4, who's going to guard you? Eddy Curry? Zach Randolph? Jared Jeffries? Gimme a break!
  • Andrea Bargnani, please, please, please show an ounce of consistency!
  • This is one of the first times I've seen the Raps win without more than 20 assists. I guess when you let Bosh operate, you don't get the assist :(
  • No PT for Juan Dixon!
  • The Knicks suck. Period.
Next up are the Blazers, and I want revenge! Spite, spite, spite!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Holy Smacktacular

Olivia Munn made the nomination list for Wired Magazine's sexiest geeks for 2007.

Enjoy.

Fanboy x 2

Will Jay-Z Join Apple?

It says in this article that Jay-Z has left Def Jam Records, and that Apple is trying to form a new record label with Jigga in charge of finding new talent.

All we need now is a Google tie-in, and I'm set.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Raptors 90, Cavs 93

Much love to Mike and Charlene for hooking us up with kick-ass tickets to watch Raps-Cavs. We went in through a separate entrance: "Air Canada Club" ... No more sitting with the lay-people! We even had our own washrooms! and in-seat service too (the lady taking our orders was kinda hot). I was like Leo DiCaprio at the front of the Titanic ... "I'm the king of the world!"

And then the ship sank.

The tale of two teams starts here:
  • Jamario's dunk was absolutely sick! Add in a couple of nasty blocks for good measure, and Raptor fan has a lot to cheer about.
  • How about 35% shooting for the Cavs in the first half? They couldn't punch Mick Jagger in the face (even with his mouth wide open).
  • LeBron missed a dunk! Two of them!
  • AP was absolutely brilliant (say it with a British accent, it sounds great).
  • Rasho got some burn! Wicked!
And the tale ends here:
  • Juan Dixon: 6 minutes, 0-3 from the field. Pathetic. I knew we were at a risk for an L as soon as he stepped on the court.
  • Delfino, Humpries, Kapono -- Remeber what I said my last post? Today, they were a combined 1-9. Jeez!
  • LeBron James scored 24 points in the fourth quarter. The Raptors scored 20. It was both amazing and disgusting to watch him perform. He gets to the basket with so much ease, and has so much body control around the hoop. One play in particular I remember: CB4 stepped in to take the charge, and just when I thought Bron-Bron was going to run Bosh over, he switched directions and scored. Shyte!
  • The refs blew more calls than I can count. Jamario's "goaltending", Rasho's "chicken wing" (why you teach him that, Chin?), No fouls whenever Bosh took it to the basket ... frig.
This game was hard to watch. It was harder to write about. But it could get worse: We could lose to Philly and NY ... cough, cough ... Please Raps! Show me that my faith in you has not been forsaken!

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Raptors 85, Piston 101

I love writing when the Raptors win. I really, really hate writing when the Raps lose. Let's get this over with.
  • Rodney Stuckey gets the award for the weirdest NBA last name.
  • Andrea Bargnani had another good game. He mixed the inside-outside game. He shot when he was supposed to (and passed when he was supposed to). Here's hoping that sacrificing Rasho's quality minutes will be worth it.
  • Are we going to trade Rasho? We need another point guard!
  • Anthony Parker! 1-11 one night, 7-10 the next night. Please stop!
  • The Pistons are not past their prime. These guys can still ball.
  • Is it just me, or are the Raptors not as deep as we originally thought? I never know what I'm going to get from Delfino, Humphries, Kapono. I know what I'm getting from Dixon (nothing). and we're only going 9 deep. We're missing TJ and Garbo ... without TJ, Calderon can't direct the second unit. Without Garbo, we're letting teams run all over us unchecked.
I got tickets for the game tomorrow! Thanks to Mike and Charlene. Lets go get a win!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Raptors 97, Hornets 92

Happy new year!

The Raps played excellent defense down the stretch, capitalized on forced and unforced Hornet turnovers, and took it to the basket offensively. I loved it! Coming back from 10 down, showing poise in the fourth, I loved that too! If the Raps continue to play this way, then 2008 is going to be a great year!
  • Andrea Bargnani has been Jekyll and Hyde since being reinserted into the starting lineup. Against the Hornets, it was Mr Hyde ... What a monster! 6-11 shoting, 5-6 from the free-throw line (he made it to the line!) ... He had his legs in his shot.
  • Chris Bosh was rock solid. I love your YouTube video! It pwns
  • Chris Paul is a baller. His stop and go on Jose Calderon was sick.
  • David West is also a baller.
  • Did you see Jamario Moon's dunk? Holy smack!
  • The Raps had great defensive rotations, and boxed out. They were also lucky enough to get some help from the Hornets, who went 5-26 from the three-line, some of them wide open looks.