What is Bad Santa? Well, you buy a gift and everyone places their gift in a pile. Then everyone draws numbers. Whoever draws number one picks a gift and opens it. Whoever draws number two has two options: Steal the gift from whoever picked first, or select a gift from the pile. As you continue later and later, mad punkage ensues, as people start stealing nice gifts from each other, and the unfortunate get stuck with crappy gifts that nobody wanted.
This is the basis of my blog today. Who came out winning in 2006? Who got stuck with gifts that homeless people wouldn't accept? Well, keep reading, geez, the answers are just in the next paragraph.
First, it would be helpful to see a complete list of who bought what (and who ended up with it):
- Kev: Miracle Chopper 2000 (Al)
- Shaun: DVD player that plays divx, Norton Antivirus, Expired brick of cheese (Chris)
- Anth: British Office Season 1 on DVD (Ruby)
- Chris: Two Nintendo DS games (Anth)
- Cathy: Nintendo DS (Shaun)
- Chin: Two tickets to watch Raptors vs Nuggets (Kev)
- Me: Raptors warmup jersey (Chin)
- Ruby: iPod Shuffle (Cathy)
Another big winner was Kev. Where the fuck did you get that miracle chopper? Probably a re-gift from friggin J Moffard or Radistan at the Bell company party. And you scored Raptors tickets? If you watch this video, at about the 40 second mark, you'll hear Maria tell Kev, "Hey, steal that one!" ... She was pointing at the Raptors tickets! See Kev, try to tell us you're not whipped after watching that evidence.
The biggest loser? Sorry Rubes, that goes to you. She spent pretty good money on that iPod, and after Shaun stole her Nintendo DS, she was stuck with The Office Season 1. I'm pretty sure it's a good show, but she wasn't having any of that. Fuck, it could be the best show I've ever watched, I wouldn't care, I just lost a Nintendo DS! To add a bit of controversy into the mix, Best Buy says The Office retails for $24.99. It was supposed to be a $40 minimum! Damn, Anth, if I knew you were this cheap, I would have voted for you instead of Alison for Frugality.
Lessons for next year (if we decide to stay on this format):
- Don't forget, you can't steal back in the same round, but you can steal back in subsequent rounds. That means, Bay, that you could have taken those tickets back from Kev!
- Try to come stronger with your gifts. Miracle chopper? We're not that old yet! What's next, aprons and recipe books?
- Bring your receipt: You should be ashamed if you can't even spend $40 for your friends.
- Minimum doesn't mean maximum. It only comes once a year, so spend some money you cheap bastards.