Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Everything I remember about my trip to Chicago

Quickly, before I forget:
  • Shaun shaking his ass while packing the bags.
  • Dane Cook's bit about "leaving a legacy" ... gold! "I did not say fucking ... He only said that to add emotion and intensity to his story. He is a 50-year old liar, that deserves to get ice cream smashed in or around his eye area."
  • The Sears Tower gives you a spectacular view of Chicago. I don't understand why one would be willing to pay $150 to get to Chicago, and not want to pay $12 to visit one of Chicago's premiere attractions.
  • I've never seen so many Walgreens, McDonalds, Starbucks and Subways in my whole life.
  • No MTV2 in my room? How often do I get to watch the sucker-free Sunday? At least National Geographic channel came strong. Leopards hunting and Baboons stealing babies, oh my!
  • We should have crashed that Indian wedding. The dessert looked good!
  • Cheers to AI for landing a 4 star hotel. Jeers to AI for promising a 20 min transit ride into the city.
  • Americans are filthy with their food. Double decker pizzas with a brick of cheese per slice. Small coffees that look like larges back home. Country gravy at IHOP. But the ultimate is the Chilli 5-way, courtesy of the Steak and Shake. Spaghetti noodles, topped with chilli, 3 cheeses, and onions. The five of us that went there all came out sick. Sick to our stomachs. Never go to a sit-down restaurant that can also serve people going to a drive-thru. Don't do it!
  • Chicago has a lot of hotties
  • I thought I was smart, but I got my ass served in Big Brain Academy against the likes of Chris, Chin, and Jon. The only ones I could have beaten didn't want to play (do the math).
  • Nominees for worst driver-shotgun combo: Shaun and Jon ... one of them put our lives in danger to satisfy his road rage, and the other couldn't perform the simplest of shotgun tasks, like having change ready for the toll, or recognizing that we were supposed to exit the highway. What a disaster.
  • Milleneum park is a very cool place.
  • Chicago has a lot of hotties
  • The slanted building, from Adventures in Babysitting! Mighty Thor!
  • The water fountain from the opening theme of Married with Children! Al, let's have sex! D'uh, no Peg.
  • When we went to Harpo Studios, it was closed. Across the street, I thought I saw a gift shop. Turned out it was some kind of administrative office for Harpo. There was a security guard behind the locked door, and I guess she didn't take a liking to me trying the door. So as soon as I cleared the parking lot, boom, she turns on the fucking security fencing. But I did not say fucking!
  • How come married men aren't invited to the strip club. I can look!
  • The automated voice at the Milleneum park parking lot sounded like Shaun! You sold us out again, how much did they pay you?
  • The wife declares, "someone peed on the floor." Shaun confidently replies, "it couldn't have been me, because I've been peeing sitting down the whole weekend." WTF?
  • Anatomically correct moose and TeamID are a match made in heaven.
See y'all next Thanksgiving!

2 comments:

Shaun said...

LOL -- and why can't we write a movie? We'd OWN! All original (pronounced originale) comedy!

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