Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Armageddon

One of the best places in the city for chicken wings is Duffs at Bayview and Eglinton. These guys don't fuck around. They come with the heat! They taunt you with their two hottest sauces: Death ... and Armageddon.

The first time I went to taste their chicken wings, I ordered medium. What do I look like, a bravestar? I told myself, "self, you'll just go up the ladder slowly." Last friday, I went with the wife and her youngest cousins. It was the perfect opportunity to upgrade to medium-hot.

An interesting offering on Duffs menu is Armageddon sauce on the side for 2 bucks. You can front like a bigshot, and chicken out (pardon the pun) if you can't take the heat. One please! They make it a big event, firing up the ceiling mounted sirens and everything.

I took one dip and bit in. A few seconds later, the sting sets in on my tongue. Sweat on my forehead. Instant runny nose. My wife looks at me and says, "your eyes are red." Then my teeth go numb. This is still after only one bite! I was supremely owned.

As an experiment, I started dipping potato wedges with just a touch of the hot sauce, and fed it to each of the kids. Ah, the looks on their faces. Evil? yes. Entertaining? bet.

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