Saturday, December 31, 2005

All I want for Christmas is mad punkage

The annual TeamID Christmas get-together did not disappoint for 2K5. And I've got the pictures to prove it!

This picture here is of Anth sucking on his own schlong. Chris looks on with bated breath and obvious arousal -- look where his hand is! AI has the rest of the pictures on his new camera.

It's wicked that we have someone like Chin, who (a) knows how to cook, and (b) is willing to cook for the fam. In all seriousness, thanks for hooking us up.

The "Bad Santa" format for gift exchange works if most of the gifts are desirable. The punkage comes from stealing. Still, the odd "you get stuck with this shit right hurr" is also good. Being rookies to this format, we shifted too far to the punkage side. Still, it was worth it to see Shaun get the good luck Kitty. You're moving out when? March? Well, the cat's already packed in a box for ultra-convenience, son! Anth jumping up-and-down behind me and yelling "You got mine, son!" was classic.

Thanks for the calendars, Jon. If you didn't pay any money for the calendars, then why didn't you participate in the gift exchange? Remember, it's about the team, not about the individual. Who taught me that? A wise, OLD man.

On a final note, thanks to my wife for the evening entertainment. Sabina was shocked by your potty mouth and disparaging racial slurs. For shame, bay. For shame. Posted by Picasa

Sick-tacular

Just finished watching NBA TV daily. If you're a Rogers customer by-the-way, and own digital cable, there's a free preview for all digital specialty channels, including Raptors NBA TV (413). Chin knew this already, and I don't think the rest of y'all have boxes, so forget it.

Anyways, Just watched the daily top 10, and Dwayne Wade's #1 was disgusting. It's on NBA.com broadband as well. Let me paint this picture for you: The Heat set a double screen to Antonio Daniel's left. Wade fakes right, and instead takes the baseline. Bye-bye Daniels - Oh sick! He crams it in for good measure.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Congratulations Patrick and Kathy!

I'm back from my 3-day trip to Montreal, highlighted by my cousin Patrick's wedding. They chose a very beautiful location, in old Montreal, which was built in 1608. It was so old, in fact, that I saw a painting of old man Jon on the wall, and he didn't look a day over 60!

It was good to see family on my mom's side, which does not happen enough, due to family quarelling and such. A wedding is always a good kick-in-the-butt to get contact info and get back in touch with relatives.

Kathy, the beautiful bride, is very nice and easygoing. Between her and my cousin, you have the most soft-spoken, polite, and patient couple on the planet.

Some interesting tidbits about Montreal:
- No salt on the sidewalks: Makes for an exciting walk downhill
- Bloc Quebecois propoganda during election time. Their tagline: "ici, c'est le Bloc", which kinda sounds like Roc-a-fella's "It's the Roc!"
- Men like sideburns. Big, honking, sideburns. It pwns.
- At the hotel, we stayed in room 112. If you don't get it, then you suck. Posted by Picasa

Monday, December 26, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Ain't Christmas grand! The family, the friends, but most importantly, the gifts! And anyone that says it's better to give than to receive ain't a self-centered prick such as myself. I scored big! Let's run it down:

Doyle Brunsons Super/System 2, a poker bible! I ain't joking, this thing is like 400+ pages. Page 1...

Cash from my mother-in-law. It's great that she doesn't think I'm too old for that (because I'm not)

Logitech Harmony universal remote. It has an LCD window!

Gift Certificates to RW & Co. Unofficial spokesperson, bitches!

Gift Certificate to Future Shop. Should I get the light saber, or the robo raptor? What's a nerd to do?

A T-Shirt that reads "Poker King". Fucking right.

What's next: TeamID's Kris Kringle 2K6. Punkage has a World Series, and you can find it at Chin's place. Bring your 'A' game, son. And keep your significant others away, if we haven't met them yet. Find another event to introduce them. Let me break it down:

drink = "rye & ginger";
while (!intoxicated) {
drink++;
}

if (intoxicated && justMetYourGirl()){
if (yourGirl.hasBigTits()){
out.print("My friend is lactose intolerant");
}
else if (yourGirl.talksTooMuch()){
out.print ("No wonder he never introduced you sooner");
}
else if (yourGirl.isCuriousAboutYourPast()){
out.print(theVault.gayExperimentsWithShaun());
}
}

 Posted by Picasa

Sunday, December 18, 2005

En Taro Adun

I've been practicing my Starcraft, in anticipation of the teamID LAN party. It didn't take long to get the hang of the key commands and whatnot, but I'm not as quick and efficient as I used to be. Still, I'm good enough to beat one computer in 30-40 minutes, and 2 computers in 45 minutes.

I swear, Shaun, you're going to pay for my copy of Rise of Nations. I bought this game (and even downloaded the trial of Warhammer) because YOU didn't want to play Starcraft. Now that I'm playing SC again, I'm thinking to myself, "self, what were you thinking?" Starcraft is to RTS as Chess is to board games -- sure, you can find others with more bells and whistles, but nothing beats the classic (pronounced clah-seech).

Protoss for life. Now, if only old man Jon can figure out how to play again, we can run the old arbiter double recall (with a little hallucination to get by the pesky air defense). If you understood what I just wrote, admit it, you are a nerd.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Stuck in the middle with you

I've been playing online poker for a while, but at the "play money" tables. It allows me to practice for my weekly games at Jay Abiog's place. The problem with play money is that the players suck. I can pretty much win every single table tournament I enter at partypoker.com. Last night, I sat at a $100/200 table for play money at pokerstars.com. I bought in for the $6000 in my account, and left with $30,000+.

Two weeks ago I made a $50 deposit at pokerstars.com -- My first time playing for real money. I entered a tournament with 650+ other entrants, and finished 452nd. I entered another multi-table tournament and got busted in 3 hands. Finally, I played at a $0.50/$1.00 table, with my last $25, and after 10-20 hands lost it on a bad beat (pocket jacks lost to an 8-high straight on the river).

So where do I stand? Too good for the free tables, not good enough for real money? Maybe it was the nervousness of my first attempt -- My first time at Jay's poker night, I busted first for both games. Now, when I play a home game, I consistently finish 4th or better.

Well, $50 is a lot of money. So I have to wait until next month before I make another deposit to an online poker site. Until then, it's the free tables for me! grumble, grumble...

Monday, December 12, 2005

Just in Case

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/broadband/theedge/sfl-edge-sinkingcar,0,5343367.flash

Remember to thank me for saving your life

Whatever I want

I love the web. What the hell was life like without it? I couldn't get Windows Media Player 10 to work on my machine. Probably because it's a pirate copy. Anyways, I type in the error message I receive into Google, and it matches up to a web forum. Someone had the same problem as me, and someone else had a solution. I try it out, and boom, it's working.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Memories of St. Lucia, vol 2


  • Posing like Shaun
  • Pictures available here
  • ATV offroading - it pwns!
  • Jewelery store built into the resort. Oh snap! Keep the wives away!
  • The jet ski does not suck. Faster! It's especially great when the water is choppy - every wave is a ramp for you to jump.
  • Even on vacation, CathyAl pauses for an episode of Lost
  • DJ plays a wicked hip-hop + raggaeton set, and there is only one guy dancing. Me! This nightclub sucks

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Memories of St. Lucia, vol 1


  • 2 hour bus ride from the airport to the resort. oy!
  • Cockroach in our room the first morning. That mafucka's huge! I thought it was dead, cuz it was on its back. But when I went to pick it up, it started squirming. One smack with my Lugz should take care of it.
  • The tour guide for orientation had a nametag on: Marvellous. He told us, "that's what my mother called me. She must have known how I would turn out when I grew up." Maybe Shaun should use that instead of glamorous?
  • Baron hot sauce on my scrambled eggs. This some good ass hot sauce! So good I bought two bottles, one for me, and one for teamID
  • Dropped the biggest turd known to humankind. Girth as thick as a water bottle. So thick that it didn't flush down the toilet. Oh snap! They don't keep plungers here, what do I do? I got to smash up the turd ... but how? I ain't using my bare hands. The garbages have have plastic liners. I've seen dog owners do this - Hand goes in plastic bag, bag goes into toilet. Mash it up!