Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Lil Lex's favourite things 2005

If Oprah can do it, so can I! With my birthday coming up, and Christmas just around the corner, isn't this absolutely shameless? Yes. Yes it is. With that being said, here is a list of things that would make a great gift for your favourite blogger this holiday season:

Thundercats Season 1 DVD
Lion-o's Sword of Omens reminds me of my penis: it grows in my hands, and the eye opens as I yell "Hoooo!"

Anything Roc-a-wear
It's the ROC!

A funny poker T-shirt
Like "Fucking River!" or "I got the nutz!" or "I love Shana Hiatt"

Membership into YTM (aka the youth movement)
If I'm really older than YTM, then you can at least call me Kuya

Apple iPod
Music, photos, and video! sick! Hey, I didn't say that this list was going to be practical.

Apple iPod Nano
See above

Gift Certificate to Jean Machine
If I accumulate enough, I can afford 1 Triple-5-Soul sweater

Raptors Tickets
When the Raptors return to the playoffs (sometime in the next 40 years), Nobody can tell me that I'm a bandwagon jumper. I've watched every heart-wrenching loss. Man, these guys suck!

Buy-in for the 2006 World Series of Poker
What do you mean, you don't have $10,000 to spare?

Gift Certificate to RW&Co
Lil Lex is the unofficial spokesperson. He's signed an exclusive contract to wear nothing but RW&Co.

Gift Certificate to the iTunes Music Store
Downloading digital music from a peer-to-peer network is wrong... Can anyone hook me up with the new Young Jeezy album?

Microsoft XBox 360
And don't get me that low-end shit either! I want wireless controllers, beyatch!

Wow Wee Remote Controlled Roboraptor Dinosaur
He walks around and starts biting whatever is in front of him. Reminds me of me.

In all seriousness, you don't need to buy me anything. Seriously. But if you really feel you need to get me something to show you care, pick one of the expensive ones.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

St Lucia!

The wife and I have just returned from our honeymoon in St Lucia! How was it? How the fuck do you think? It was fantastic!

The food was terrific. We ate too much, and now my pants don't fit the same! Gotta go back to the gym ASAP.

The pools and the beach were great. We sat on the beach most of the day, catching St Lucian sun, taking naps, and drinking Pina Coladas.

I drank mad liquor. Got introduced to my new favourite drink, the Bloody Mary. Premium drinks are included! Another Courvoisier, bartender...

Memories of St Lucia in my next blog! And pictures coming soon. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I heart PVR

The Personal Video Recorder is great. I don't channel surf, I watch exactly what I want, when I want (unless Cathy's watching Oprah. Then I'm watching that).

A few days ago I posted about how I needed to rearrange my morning schedule to ensure I caught basketball highlights. I told myself, "self, why is Raptors TV so stupid. They play NBA TV Daily (the highlights show) at 5:30AM. I'm not up that early. Wait a minute, I can RECORD NBA TV Daily! Duh!"

30 minutes. All basketball highlights. Ready and waiting when I get downstairs. Sick.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Countdown to St Lucia

Finally put a big project to bed (well, almost. It will launch tomorrow) and now it's time to get excited about my trip to St Lucia with my wife.

Thanks to Shaun for hooking me up with the 1 GB memory card. How big is 1 gig? well, it's big enough to take 611 pictures with a 3 megapixel camera. I used to be able to take 77. Or I can take approximately 16 minutes of video at 640 x 480. Wicked.

Just reading through the website, and we are allowed unlimited rounds of golf! I don't golf, but my ass is taking advantage of free-ocity.

See y'all in a week, bitches!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Sunday morning punkage

Everytime I go to church, I sleep. That's what I do. So we go to church on Sunday, and we're early. So I close my eyes. That's what I do.

One of the ushers approaches us, and asks, "would you like to be the gift bearers for today's mass?" I wake up, startled. "Uhhh, okay..." Damn usher, he did that just to punk me! You have no right to tell me where and when I can sleep!

Anyways, today's gospel was from the book of Matthew. Here it is, paraphrased by Lil Lex:

10 bridesmaids are waiting for the bridesgroom, so that they may accompany him to the wedding. They've got oil lamps to light the way when it gets dark. There are 5 "foolish" ones, and 5 "wise" ones. The wise ones brought oil for their lamps, and the foolish ones didn't.

So they take a nap, and when they wake up, it's dark. So the foolish ones are like, "yo, hook us up with some of your oil." The wise ones are like "naw, there ain't enough. Go buy your own." So the 5 foolish ones head into town. While they're gone, the bridesgroom comes, and the 5 wise bridesmaids accompany him to the wedding. They lock the door.

The 5 foolish bridesmaids return, and ask them to unlock the door. The bridesgroom tells them, "uhhh, I don't know who you are. Go away."

The gospel of the Lord. Thanks be to God (oh punk).

Friday, November 04, 2005

ball above all

I go downstairs after I shower. Check Raptors NBA TV. No highlights. Check the Score. Basketball highlights at 20 minutes after the hour. That's when I usually get ready for work! Well, gotta switch it up. I kick my wife out of the bathroom and start brushing my teeth. Get ready super fast. 8:19 AM.

Like Horace Brown, "The things we do for ball"

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Virtual GM aka ESPN Fast Break

Another NBA season. Wicked. And with that, another year of NBA Virtual GM (aka ESPN Fast Break). This is the biggest year, with 12 players total. More players equals more punkage!

Funny story: Dooch calls me from Sudbury and asks me to verify the fast break group name. "Ghost Division 2K6" I reply. "Oh", he says. "I joined 'Ghostdivision 2K6' (one word) and all I saw was Jon". Stupid Jon, I told you to create a team and JOIN our group, not create your own! Now you're going to play with yourself, which you're probably familiar with given that you spent most of your time in Cuba alone in the room.

Shawn Marion over Kevin Garnett week 1? C'mon Matrix, you don't need to share with Amare no more!