Saturday, December 31, 2005

All I want for Christmas is mad punkage

The annual TeamID Christmas get-together did not disappoint for 2K5. And I've got the pictures to prove it!

This picture here is of Anth sucking on his own schlong. Chris looks on with bated breath and obvious arousal -- look where his hand is! AI has the rest of the pictures on his new camera.

It's wicked that we have someone like Chin, who (a) knows how to cook, and (b) is willing to cook for the fam. In all seriousness, thanks for hooking us up.

The "Bad Santa" format for gift exchange works if most of the gifts are desirable. The punkage comes from stealing. Still, the odd "you get stuck with this shit right hurr" is also good. Being rookies to this format, we shifted too far to the punkage side. Still, it was worth it to see Shaun get the good luck Kitty. You're moving out when? March? Well, the cat's already packed in a box for ultra-convenience, son! Anth jumping up-and-down behind me and yelling "You got mine, son!" was classic.

Thanks for the calendars, Jon. If you didn't pay any money for the calendars, then why didn't you participate in the gift exchange? Remember, it's about the team, not about the individual. Who taught me that? A wise, OLD man.

On a final note, thanks to my wife for the evening entertainment. Sabina was shocked by your potty mouth and disparaging racial slurs. For shame, bay. For shame. Posted by Picasa

Sick-tacular

Just finished watching NBA TV daily. If you're a Rogers customer by-the-way, and own digital cable, there's a free preview for all digital specialty channels, including Raptors NBA TV (413). Chin knew this already, and I don't think the rest of y'all have boxes, so forget it.

Anyways, Just watched the daily top 10, and Dwayne Wade's #1 was disgusting. It's on NBA.com broadband as well. Let me paint this picture for you: The Heat set a double screen to Antonio Daniel's left. Wade fakes right, and instead takes the baseline. Bye-bye Daniels - Oh sick! He crams it in for good measure.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Congratulations Patrick and Kathy!

I'm back from my 3-day trip to Montreal, highlighted by my cousin Patrick's wedding. They chose a very beautiful location, in old Montreal, which was built in 1608. It was so old, in fact, that I saw a painting of old man Jon on the wall, and he didn't look a day over 60!

It was good to see family on my mom's side, which does not happen enough, due to family quarelling and such. A wedding is always a good kick-in-the-butt to get contact info and get back in touch with relatives.

Kathy, the beautiful bride, is very nice and easygoing. Between her and my cousin, you have the most soft-spoken, polite, and patient couple on the planet.

Some interesting tidbits about Montreal:
- No salt on the sidewalks: Makes for an exciting walk downhill
- Bloc Quebecois propoganda during election time. Their tagline: "ici, c'est le Bloc", which kinda sounds like Roc-a-fella's "It's the Roc!"
- Men like sideburns. Big, honking, sideburns. It pwns.
- At the hotel, we stayed in room 112. If you don't get it, then you suck. Posted by Picasa

Monday, December 26, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Ain't Christmas grand! The family, the friends, but most importantly, the gifts! And anyone that says it's better to give than to receive ain't a self-centered prick such as myself. I scored big! Let's run it down:

Doyle Brunsons Super/System 2, a poker bible! I ain't joking, this thing is like 400+ pages. Page 1...

Cash from my mother-in-law. It's great that she doesn't think I'm too old for that (because I'm not)

Logitech Harmony universal remote. It has an LCD window!

Gift Certificates to RW & Co. Unofficial spokesperson, bitches!

Gift Certificate to Future Shop. Should I get the light saber, or the robo raptor? What's a nerd to do?

A T-Shirt that reads "Poker King". Fucking right.

What's next: TeamID's Kris Kringle 2K6. Punkage has a World Series, and you can find it at Chin's place. Bring your 'A' game, son. And keep your significant others away, if we haven't met them yet. Find another event to introduce them. Let me break it down:

drink = "rye & ginger";
while (!intoxicated) {
drink++;
}

if (intoxicated && justMetYourGirl()){
if (yourGirl.hasBigTits()){
out.print("My friend is lactose intolerant");
}
else if (yourGirl.talksTooMuch()){
out.print ("No wonder he never introduced you sooner");
}
else if (yourGirl.isCuriousAboutYourPast()){
out.print(theVault.gayExperimentsWithShaun());
}
}

 Posted by Picasa

Sunday, December 18, 2005

En Taro Adun

I've been practicing my Starcraft, in anticipation of the teamID LAN party. It didn't take long to get the hang of the key commands and whatnot, but I'm not as quick and efficient as I used to be. Still, I'm good enough to beat one computer in 30-40 minutes, and 2 computers in 45 minutes.

I swear, Shaun, you're going to pay for my copy of Rise of Nations. I bought this game (and even downloaded the trial of Warhammer) because YOU didn't want to play Starcraft. Now that I'm playing SC again, I'm thinking to myself, "self, what were you thinking?" Starcraft is to RTS as Chess is to board games -- sure, you can find others with more bells and whistles, but nothing beats the classic (pronounced clah-seech).

Protoss for life. Now, if only old man Jon can figure out how to play again, we can run the old arbiter double recall (with a little hallucination to get by the pesky air defense). If you understood what I just wrote, admit it, you are a nerd.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Stuck in the middle with you

I've been playing online poker for a while, but at the "play money" tables. It allows me to practice for my weekly games at Jay Abiog's place. The problem with play money is that the players suck. I can pretty much win every single table tournament I enter at partypoker.com. Last night, I sat at a $100/200 table for play money at pokerstars.com. I bought in for the $6000 in my account, and left with $30,000+.

Two weeks ago I made a $50 deposit at pokerstars.com -- My first time playing for real money. I entered a tournament with 650+ other entrants, and finished 452nd. I entered another multi-table tournament and got busted in 3 hands. Finally, I played at a $0.50/$1.00 table, with my last $25, and after 10-20 hands lost it on a bad beat (pocket jacks lost to an 8-high straight on the river).

So where do I stand? Too good for the free tables, not good enough for real money? Maybe it was the nervousness of my first attempt -- My first time at Jay's poker night, I busted first for both games. Now, when I play a home game, I consistently finish 4th or better.

Well, $50 is a lot of money. So I have to wait until next month before I make another deposit to an online poker site. Until then, it's the free tables for me! grumble, grumble...

Monday, December 12, 2005

Just in Case

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/broadband/theedge/sfl-edge-sinkingcar,0,5343367.flash

Remember to thank me for saving your life

Whatever I want

I love the web. What the hell was life like without it? I couldn't get Windows Media Player 10 to work on my machine. Probably because it's a pirate copy. Anyways, I type in the error message I receive into Google, and it matches up to a web forum. Someone had the same problem as me, and someone else had a solution. I try it out, and boom, it's working.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Memories of St. Lucia, vol 2


  • Posing like Shaun
  • Pictures available here
  • ATV offroading - it pwns!
  • Jewelery store built into the resort. Oh snap! Keep the wives away!
  • The jet ski does not suck. Faster! It's especially great when the water is choppy - every wave is a ramp for you to jump.
  • Even on vacation, CathyAl pauses for an episode of Lost
  • DJ plays a wicked hip-hop + raggaeton set, and there is only one guy dancing. Me! This nightclub sucks

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Memories of St. Lucia, vol 1


  • 2 hour bus ride from the airport to the resort. oy!
  • Cockroach in our room the first morning. That mafucka's huge! I thought it was dead, cuz it was on its back. But when I went to pick it up, it started squirming. One smack with my Lugz should take care of it.
  • The tour guide for orientation had a nametag on: Marvellous. He told us, "that's what my mother called me. She must have known how I would turn out when I grew up." Maybe Shaun should use that instead of glamorous?
  • Baron hot sauce on my scrambled eggs. This some good ass hot sauce! So good I bought two bottles, one for me, and one for teamID
  • Dropped the biggest turd known to humankind. Girth as thick as a water bottle. So thick that it didn't flush down the toilet. Oh snap! They don't keep plungers here, what do I do? I got to smash up the turd ... but how? I ain't using my bare hands. The garbages have have plastic liners. I've seen dog owners do this - Hand goes in plastic bag, bag goes into toilet. Mash it up!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Lil Lex's favourite things 2005

If Oprah can do it, so can I! With my birthday coming up, and Christmas just around the corner, isn't this absolutely shameless? Yes. Yes it is. With that being said, here is a list of things that would make a great gift for your favourite blogger this holiday season:

Thundercats Season 1 DVD
Lion-o's Sword of Omens reminds me of my penis: it grows in my hands, and the eye opens as I yell "Hoooo!"

Anything Roc-a-wear
It's the ROC!

A funny poker T-shirt
Like "Fucking River!" or "I got the nutz!" or "I love Shana Hiatt"

Membership into YTM (aka the youth movement)
If I'm really older than YTM, then you can at least call me Kuya

Apple iPod
Music, photos, and video! sick! Hey, I didn't say that this list was going to be practical.

Apple iPod Nano
See above

Gift Certificate to Jean Machine
If I accumulate enough, I can afford 1 Triple-5-Soul sweater

Raptors Tickets
When the Raptors return to the playoffs (sometime in the next 40 years), Nobody can tell me that I'm a bandwagon jumper. I've watched every heart-wrenching loss. Man, these guys suck!

Buy-in for the 2006 World Series of Poker
What do you mean, you don't have $10,000 to spare?

Gift Certificate to RW&Co
Lil Lex is the unofficial spokesperson. He's signed an exclusive contract to wear nothing but RW&Co.

Gift Certificate to the iTunes Music Store
Downloading digital music from a peer-to-peer network is wrong... Can anyone hook me up with the new Young Jeezy album?

Microsoft XBox 360
And don't get me that low-end shit either! I want wireless controllers, beyatch!

Wow Wee Remote Controlled Roboraptor Dinosaur
He walks around and starts biting whatever is in front of him. Reminds me of me.

In all seriousness, you don't need to buy me anything. Seriously. But if you really feel you need to get me something to show you care, pick one of the expensive ones.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

St Lucia!

The wife and I have just returned from our honeymoon in St Lucia! How was it? How the fuck do you think? It was fantastic!

The food was terrific. We ate too much, and now my pants don't fit the same! Gotta go back to the gym ASAP.

The pools and the beach were great. We sat on the beach most of the day, catching St Lucian sun, taking naps, and drinking Pina Coladas.

I drank mad liquor. Got introduced to my new favourite drink, the Bloody Mary. Premium drinks are included! Another Courvoisier, bartender...

Memories of St Lucia in my next blog! And pictures coming soon. Posted by Picasa

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I heart PVR

The Personal Video Recorder is great. I don't channel surf, I watch exactly what I want, when I want (unless Cathy's watching Oprah. Then I'm watching that).

A few days ago I posted about how I needed to rearrange my morning schedule to ensure I caught basketball highlights. I told myself, "self, why is Raptors TV so stupid. They play NBA TV Daily (the highlights show) at 5:30AM. I'm not up that early. Wait a minute, I can RECORD NBA TV Daily! Duh!"

30 minutes. All basketball highlights. Ready and waiting when I get downstairs. Sick.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Countdown to St Lucia

Finally put a big project to bed (well, almost. It will launch tomorrow) and now it's time to get excited about my trip to St Lucia with my wife.

Thanks to Shaun for hooking me up with the 1 GB memory card. How big is 1 gig? well, it's big enough to take 611 pictures with a 3 megapixel camera. I used to be able to take 77. Or I can take approximately 16 minutes of video at 640 x 480. Wicked.

Just reading through the website, and we are allowed unlimited rounds of golf! I don't golf, but my ass is taking advantage of free-ocity.

See y'all in a week, bitches!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Sunday morning punkage

Everytime I go to church, I sleep. That's what I do. So we go to church on Sunday, and we're early. So I close my eyes. That's what I do.

One of the ushers approaches us, and asks, "would you like to be the gift bearers for today's mass?" I wake up, startled. "Uhhh, okay..." Damn usher, he did that just to punk me! You have no right to tell me where and when I can sleep!

Anyways, today's gospel was from the book of Matthew. Here it is, paraphrased by Lil Lex:

10 bridesmaids are waiting for the bridesgroom, so that they may accompany him to the wedding. They've got oil lamps to light the way when it gets dark. There are 5 "foolish" ones, and 5 "wise" ones. The wise ones brought oil for their lamps, and the foolish ones didn't.

So they take a nap, and when they wake up, it's dark. So the foolish ones are like, "yo, hook us up with some of your oil." The wise ones are like "naw, there ain't enough. Go buy your own." So the 5 foolish ones head into town. While they're gone, the bridesgroom comes, and the 5 wise bridesmaids accompany him to the wedding. They lock the door.

The 5 foolish bridesmaids return, and ask them to unlock the door. The bridesgroom tells them, "uhhh, I don't know who you are. Go away."

The gospel of the Lord. Thanks be to God (oh punk).

Friday, November 04, 2005

ball above all

I go downstairs after I shower. Check Raptors NBA TV. No highlights. Check the Score. Basketball highlights at 20 minutes after the hour. That's when I usually get ready for work! Well, gotta switch it up. I kick my wife out of the bathroom and start brushing my teeth. Get ready super fast. 8:19 AM.

Like Horace Brown, "The things we do for ball"

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Virtual GM aka ESPN Fast Break

Another NBA season. Wicked. And with that, another year of NBA Virtual GM (aka ESPN Fast Break). This is the biggest year, with 12 players total. More players equals more punkage!

Funny story: Dooch calls me from Sudbury and asks me to verify the fast break group name. "Ghost Division 2K6" I reply. "Oh", he says. "I joined 'Ghostdivision 2K6' (one word) and all I saw was Jon". Stupid Jon, I told you to create a team and JOIN our group, not create your own! Now you're going to play with yourself, which you're probably familiar with given that you spent most of your time in Cuba alone in the room.

Shawn Marion over Kevin Garnett week 1? C'mon Matrix, you don't need to share with Amare no more!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Fucking Spyware!

If anyone has tips on how to remove spyware (without wasting half of my weekend), please let me know. I have run scans using 4 applications:
  • Spybot
  • Ad-Aware
  • MS Anti-Spyware
  • Norton Internet Security 2006
The last item on that list I actually purchased. It found 19 items (trojans, worms, adware), and fixed them all. But they're still more! why! If I ever meet anyone in my lifetime that says he's developed spyware, I'll kill him!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

My brother's getting married!

My brother has (finally) selected a date with his fiancee to get married. Oct 14, 2006. Congratulations, bro! He called me to let me know I'm going to be his best man. The best man's prime responsibility, of course, is planning the stag.

This is going to be fun.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Congratulations Jonathan and Charlene

On Friday, the wife and I went to Jonathan and Charlene's wedding. These guys did it up right: 4 course dinner, including a two pasta course and a two meat course (beef AND chicken!). And then, when your stomach is ready to explode, they come out with a shrimp and lobster platter at 11:30. Gatdamn!

The wife claimed that she was getting her drink on, and then sobered up for no apparent reason. Ghetto, I could've been smashed, son, smashed!

The groom and his groomsmen were wearing Barongs. And they came in using Chicago Bulls entrance theme music. And they were jumping around and bumping each other on the dance floor. A vision of Jon's wedding flashed before my eyes: Except Jon would be in the hotel, sitting by himself watching TV.

WAR weddings. TeamID needs more. Hurry the fuck up, y'all! Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

CubaNation, Vol 3

More memories from CubaNation:
  • Pusoy Dos is too ethnic. We need a marketable name for it. How about NY Knockout? Fastest rising card game, even bigger than Texas Hold 'Em! Added twist: if you are last place, the other 3 get to flick your ear! Gatdamn that hurts!
  • Playing Poker with pebbles
  • Grappling: Kinda like Sumo wrestling in the water. The object is to try and get your opponent off his feet and into the water. Me, Chin, and Shaun tested this game at the beach. Tossing each other in the water like rag dolls. Shaun's friends asked later, "How much did you have to drink?", to which he replied, "We were actually sober." Later that night, we had a 5 player tournament. Only Chris was able to run the Gauntlet. Congratulations. Shaun wins the award for swallowing the most pool water.
  • At the clubs, the DJ had to cater to 2 groups: North Americans that like to dance to hip-hop, and Euros that like to dance to ... well ... dance music. When 50 Cents starts playing, watch those Euros: They're just standing there! They don't get it!

Friday, October 07, 2005

CubaNation, Vol 2

Memoirs from a TeamID superweek:
  • Daddy Yankee's "Gasolina". "Yo Chin, how come you don't like this shit?"
  • Searched at the Airport: Cuban military checking my underwear for weapons. Dude even sampled some of my after shave gel: "smells good". Fucking right!
  • The Russian Girl. Oh my perfection. Watch out for the boyfriend, he's KGB! (averts glance at Russian Girl's bootie)
  • Cuba Libre! aka Rum and Coke.
  • "Photostar Seven attacking moon installation" © Shaun Sequeira
  • "Is 75K a year enough to own a condo and an Infiniti G35?" This question, plus enough alcohol, equals 1-2 hour debate.
Watch out for Vol 3, coming soon!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

CubaNation, Vol I


Here are my pictures from Cuba 2K5. I got owned after Wednesday, because I got a fingerprint on my lens. You can tell in a lot of the later pictures. Oh punk!

http://www.lillex.com/cubanation/

Memories of CubaNation coming soon (unless I'm slapped with a gag order from the other members of TeamID).

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Exhausted

Do you remember what it was like looking for the job you're working at right now? Doing research on companies, searching through Monster/Workopolis, polishing your resume ... It truly is a full-time job all by itself.

Have you ever looked for a new job while still working full time somewhere else? It leaves you drained and exhausted. Like you've been working 16 hour shifts for 7 days a week.

Well let's try juggling 3 freelance jobs, all due next Friday, into the fray. Welcome to my hell. The guys trip to Cuba next Saturday is going to be well deserved and well appreciated too. Only 6 more nights. Put your game face back on, let's get to work!

Friday, September 02, 2005

The Office

Al likes 40-year old virgin

40-year old virgin stars Steve Carell

Steve Carell stars in the The Office

Therefore, Al likes The Office

The Office premieres on NBC Sept. 20

That is all.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Heavy Rotation

Kanye West's sophomore effort, Late Registration, is out in stores now. Quick summary if you don't want to read anything else: Go get it.

Hip-hop has really never matured since its inception. Too many albums speak exclusively about money, drugs, cars, bitches, violence. In one respect, listening to hip-hop is like watching classic gangster movies: Scarface, Goodfellas, The Godfather -- Sometimes you like to root for the bad guy. And imagine living that kind of life: cars, women, jewelery, everything you've ever wanted. But eventually, you want to watch more than just gangster movies.

Kanye West is the breath of fresh air in the fog of monotonous rap artists. Very few artists have been able to create a unique sound, speak about more than material possesions, and gain mainstream success. Kanye has done just that.

What makes Late Registration so appealing is that Kanye is sharing his personal life with all of us. In "Roses", he shares his family's fears of losing their grandmother. In "Hey Mama", Kanye recounts his mother's role in his upbringing. The album explores his anxieties and triumphs: The story of the underdog that was always told he'd never make it, but went ahead and proved them wrong.

What's more, he does it with his usual wit and humour. From "Roses":

I asked the nurse "did you do the research?"
She ask me, "can you sign some t-shirts?"

Accompanying the lyrical content is solid Kanye West production. He wasn't joking on his first album when he says he saved all the best beats for himself. The big singles, "Diamonds from Sierra Leone", and "Golddigger" are a testament to that. You are hearing a mesh between hip-hop, gospel, live instruments, and sampling from 70's and 80's classics. It is the new hip-hop.

Nas is featured in "We Major." I've always dreamed about Nas on a Kanye West beat, but figured we would never see it because of beef between Nas and Jay-Z. Although Nas' verse isn't the strongest, the possibility of the two collaborating again is enough to get me excited.

This is the only thing I've been listening to for the past two weeks. Well, that, and Tearria Mari, but you guys don't need to know about that. Let's stay focused here -- Kanye West. Late Registration. Hot shit. Cop it now. It's the ROC!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

2 movies for the price of one!

So we go to watch The Aristocrats last night. Garbage. Absolute garbage. The last time I wanted to leave halfway through a movie was The Hulk. But now The Hulk can lay claim to the second-worst movie I've ever seen all time.

Leaving the theatre overwhelmingly unsatisfied, we look over and see that The 40 Year Old Virgin is just starting. Theatre hopping? It seems so unsavoury and dishonest. Besides, it's already late, and I have to go to work tomorrow. But we collectively felt like we took $10 each, pissed on it, shit on it, puked on it, got our dog to piss on it, then started fucking our dog while rolling around in the piss, shit and puke we just created. What do you call that? The Aristocrats ... get it? No, well neither did the entire audience. But I digress.

The 40 Year Old Virgin is the comedy of the summer. Period. Please watch this movie. I'm laughing right now as I write this, because I'm thinking back to some of the jokes.

Oh yeah, and when you go to watch the movie, skip The Aristocrats. And take the elevator down to the first floor of Paramount, instead of the escalator. Oh punk.

Monday, August 22, 2005

40 Year Old Virgin

Is this movie about Jon? Friday night was good times, but my coworker (and trusted movie critic) said that 40 Year Old Virgin was the funniest she's seen in a long time. We missed out son! Alright, now that Jon got his liquor on, we're going to watch this.

On a slightly separate topic, Ruby calls me that night at 1:00AM. WTF?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Reminisce

Do you remember Team ID, before we were called Team ID? Those were good times...

I miss (in no particular order):
  1. Watching a Raptors game, and trying to come up with the next day's newspaper headlines ... "Nets make Raps extinct" ... "Raptors cool Heat" ...
  2. Pushing triangles
  3. Getting together for "general loafting"
  4. Guaranteed attendance on Friday for "Friday dinner"
  5. Friday dinner
  6. Rob Fernandes
  7. Basketball outdoors
  8. Starcraft until 5AM
  9. Tobogganing
  10. Deflection punkage - Al: "You suck, Chin" ... Chin: "in order to deflect this punkage, Jon is gay" ...
  11. Sacrificial punkage - Al: "You suck, Chin" ... Chin: shrug ...
  12. Distraction punkage - Al: "You suck, Chin" ... Chin: "Hey look at that hottie over there ... what were we talking about?"
  13. NBA 2K2 in Chris' basement
  14. My pager - 416 SWIPEJR

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

I miss my wife

I miss my wife, aka "Hopefully I can get the food stains off the wall before you come back..."

I miss you bay! I threw out all of the leftovers from the fridge. I thought Jon was coming over, and the last thing I want is that guy getting sick on account of week old leftovers. I guess it would be his own fault, but I'd still be responsible for getting him to the hospital, and he ain't worth that much effort.

I miss you a lot. I've got a picture of you as my desktop wallpaper. I hope you're having a good time. Keep taking pictures, but not of any Barbados men. That will just throw me into a jealous rage.

I'm keeping the house tidy, but have not done the following: Mopping, dusting, vacuuming, or cleaning the washroom. At least I did laundry!

I'll see you soon!

Random

Did you know that people are selling their Gmail invites on Ebay? Check it out ...

I got 50 still! I'm sitting on like $50! I even read an article that said invites were as high as $30 each at one point. What can't you sell on Ebay (and who are these people that buy this stuff anyways)?

Monday, August 15, 2005

Sunday, August 14, 2005



Pictures from the 2005 United Way Great Neighbourhood Race are available on the United Way's website. Until next year!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

A week without my wife

For my wife's birthday, I bought her a plane ticket to Barbados, so she can visit her friend Marsha. She leaves this Saturday, which leaves me with the house all to myself ... for a whole week. What's a pathetic, utterly dependant husband to do?
  • Go to the laundromat and pay someone to do the laundry. Or better yet, just let it pile and wait for the wife to get back and do it herself. Hope I have enough underwear.
  • Eat Kraft EasyMac. Or Stagg Chilli, straight out of the pot. I don't need to wash it neither, cuz it's the same thing for tomorrow anyways!
  • Play video games like mad. There's no more competition for the TV. Fuck you Oprah!
  • Clean the day before my wife gets back. Nobody will be the wiser.
  • See if I can get away with going to work without showering. That means I can wake up at 8:45AM (*).
*bonus points

Hope you have a great time bay! I love you!

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Poker Tourney

I held my second multi-table poker tournament on Saturday, an evening filled with the joys of Texas Hold 'Em, as well as the stress of organization. Let's reminisce, shall we?

I sent my first email 3 weeks before, and get a lukewarm response. I was scraping just to get 14 players. Begging people. To add insult to injury, Four players tell me that they can't make it ... a week before the tournament!

So now it's Saturday. I get a call from my friend Rob. "I got four more players." Then I get a call from my friend Kev. "I've got one more player, is that cool?" Then Shaun calls, and Dooch calls him a pussy. "Fuck that, fine, I'm coming." My brother calls with 2 more players, and voila, in one day I make up for the lost players and then some. 24 players, right where I wanted it.

The game was supposed to start at 7. 7:01, I have four players. 7:30, I have maybe 10 players. What's wrong with you people? we start maybe around 8:00. Sheesh.

My plan was to keep the three tables balanced throughout the night. That means that as players get busted, people have to move from one table to another. What a disaster: I have 6 people yelling at me, telling me what to do, and I'm freaking out.

Despite the stress, everyone had a great time. Suprise of the night: My wife, who held chip lead for most of the night. I can't take credit for that, she doesn't listen to anything I tell her! Not so surprising: Shaun amassing a huge chip lead, only to squander it. Reckless!

How did I do? Well, I finished second. Not bad, not bad at all. Made some new friends, and it was good to see some old ones. Already have the wheels in motion for my next tourney, probably in October.

Thanks to my wife, Joy, Sara, and whoever else cleaned up in the kitchen.

See y'all next time! Make sure you work on your game, my wife has a read on all y'all!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Simpsons Season 6

I can't wait -- Simpons season 6 is on DVD August 16. I checked out a site with a Simpsons episode guide, and some of my favourite episodes are here:

Itchy and Scratchyland: "Where nothing can possi-blie go wrong"

Bart vs. Australia: "America, Australia, America, Australia!"

Lisa's Wedding: "I met a really nice exotic dancer the other night at Hugh's bacherlor party" ... "We had one in his honor" ... "I had one in his honor" ... "I went to a stripclub".

The PTA Disbands: "Purple Monkey Dishwasher".

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Holy player movement Batman!

I love this time of the year. NBA free agents can officially sign with teams, and teams can make trades. In the first day alone, there were 15 transactions!

http://www.nba.com/transactions/current_month_transactions.html

The (c)raptors? No moves yet, other than signing their first round picks. But I'm not a bandwagon jumper, I'll see you on opening night!

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Rounders ain't that good

I heard a lot of good things about Rounders, a poker movie starring Matt Damon and Ed Norton. Rounders is a poker movie + I like poker ... sounds good right? Wrong. Rounders is a horrible movie! Why?
  • Your full house 9's over Aces is nice, but you didn't think for one second that he might be holding pocket Aces?
  • Is this movie trying to tell me that breaking promises I made to my girlfriend, and lying to her, is okay? That it's right?
  • The law professor gives a speech about how we should do what is right for us. So Matt Damon should quit law school and become a degenerate gambler. Nice.
  • Why is Matt Damon leaving a girlfriend and an education to bail out his stupid friend (Norton) who racked up a gambling debt in his name? And who continues to make stupid gambling decisions?
  • You play one freaking hand against Johnny Chan, and you think you're ready to play for high stakes in Vegas?
Maybe I should have watched the movie before I learned the ins and outs of Texas Hold 'Em. From now on, if I want drama and Poker, I'll watch the World Poker Tour on TV.

Friday, July 29, 2005

New blog for my wife

My wife couldn't figure out how to post to her blog. So she just made a new one. I've updated my link, so check it out, and update your links as well.

http://badgirl31.blogspot.com/

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Bebot, Bebot

Track 12 of Black Eyed Peas' new album Monkey Business (Bebot) is in tagalog. This is some funny ass shit!

Verse 1:
Hoy pare pakinggan nyo ko
Eto nang tunay na filipino
Galing sa baryo Sapang Bato
Pumunta ng LA nagtrabaho
Para makatulong sa nanay
Dahil sa hirap ng buhay
Pero masaya parin ang gulay
Pag kumain nagkakamay
Yung kanin, chicken adobo
Yung balot, binebenta sa kanto
Tagay mo na nga ang baso
Pare ko inuman na tayo

Verse 2:
Masdan mo ang magagandang dalaga
Nakakagigil ang beauty mo talaga
Lambingin di nakakasawa
Ikaw lang ang gustong kasama
Yung bahay o kubo
Pagibig mo ay totoo
Puso ko'y laging kumikibo
Wala kang katulad sa mundo ko
Pinoy ka sigaw na, sige
Kung maganda ka sigaw na, sige
Kung buhay mo'y mahalaga, sige
Salamat sa iyong suporta

Here is a rough translation that I found on the web (I can't translate, I'm whitewashed!)

Verse 1:
Hey man listen to me
This is the real Filipino
Came from the barrio at Sapang Bato
Went to L.A. and labored
So to help mom
Because life is so hard
But the disposition is still bright
when eating we use our hands
The rice, chicken adobo
The balut, being sold at the corner
Share the glass already
My friend let’s all start drinking

Verse 2:
Observe all the beautiful girls
Your beauty really drives me crazy
Sweetness is never tiresome
You’re the only one I want to be with at
Your house or nipa hut
Your love is for real
My heart always speaks
There is no one else in the world like you
You’re Filipino shout now, c’mmon
If you’re beautiful shout now, c’mmon
If you value your life, c’mmon
Thank you for your support

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Great Neighbourhood Race 2K5

Team Indecision (Ruby, Chin, Chris, Al), waited one year after placing 10th out of 34 teams for another crack at finishing top 3 at The United Way's Great Neighbourhood Race.

What is this race you ask? Well, it's like the Amazing Race -- you work in teams of 4 solving clues, and the answers will lead you to checkpoints around the city. Along the way, you have the option of completing detours, which can give you even more points. You have 4 hours to complete the race, and the team with the most points wins. Oh yeah, and you can only use your two feet and public transit.

What's the key? Have someone in front of a computer Googling the clues and trying to find answers to the detours while you race towards the checkpoints. Thanks to my wife for helping us out. We owe you big!

How did we do this year? 22nd out of 38. Bummer. Well, only 364 more days until next year's race! Maybe you'll join us!

Highlights include:
- Chin figuring out the clue: primary colour + Toronto's "underground" ... it ain't Union Station, it ain't the TD Centre, it's the Redpath factory on Queen's Quay. "Dammit!"
- Chris and Ruby running in the wrong direction for the third checkpoint. "Where are you guys?"
- Al doing some window shopping while waiting. "$109 for a pair of shorts?"
- Meeting Frank and Jen from Breakfast Television.
- Al asking a random Chinese lady what "long shya" means. What a disaster.
- Chin and Al eating dried squid.
- Racing with another team from King/Parliament to the Distillery. Bonus points for first, second, and third son, gotta hurry! Unfortunately, there were at least 4-5 other teams that finished before us. What a waste!
- We got on Breakfast Television! For 1/10th of a second!
- Chris even got quoted in the Toronto Sun (http://www.torontosun.com/News/OtherNews/2005/07/25/1146685-sun.html)

It is my mission to know this city inside and out for next year. Travels of the Toronto tourist... from Toronto ... coming soon!

Friday, July 22, 2005

All in!

I won my first poker tournament at Jay Abiog's weekly poker game. It's been quite a turn, given that last month I was "ATM of the month" (given to the player who on average gets busted out the fastest).

Highlights include:
  • Going heads-up against my brother
  • Folding a 10-Queen preflop, and seeing two more queens at the flop (fuck!)
  • Folding a pair of fours preflop, and seeing two more fours at the flop (double fuck!)
  • Short stacked and on the big blind, I get a 2-5 offsuit (yuck). The flop comes 3-4-6 -- wicked I got a straight. Jay yells out "just go all in", which I was planning on doing anyway, but I decide to act a bit to lure in a few callers. "shoot, whatever, might as well". I put what little I had left, and everyone folds. Damn. At least I last a bit longer.
  • Don misdeals, accidentally showing my King. I almost call a misdeal, but decide to play on. Check my cards -- a pair of fives. Wicked, Don just gave me another five, I've got a pair. The flop comes up, and there's another five. Trips. I slow-play, and win a lot of chips. Call it the TSN Turning Point.
Working is for losers, I'm going to become a professional poker player! wooooooo!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

My brother the sales pig

My old cell phone is broke. So I go to buy a new one. My brother is manager at Wireless Wave, so who better to talk to then someone I trust. Right?

"Motorola v220 please. It's the cheapest one. I don't need a fancy phone", I say.

"For forty dollars more, you can get the Motorola v551. It has more features. Besides, the Motorola v220 is a problematic phone", he says.

"Fine."

"There's a $35 administration fee."

"Fine."

"Now, here's where I make my money. You can buy a 2 year extended warranty or a 3 year extended warranty."

"Fuck."

"Alright, so the phone actually costs $120, so you have to mail in this rebate."

"Fuck."

"Let me see if I can apply my discount ... No, looks like I can't"

Oh well. At least I have a working phone now. And I have a video camera built into my phone. And this crappy ringtune.

Friday, July 15, 2005

Obsessive

When I like something, I really like something.

I've watched Aliens somewhere in the range of 20-30 times, and can quote entire scenes from the movie at will.

After playing Metal Gear Solid, I loved it so much that I took a week off to play Metal Gear Solid 2. My vacation started on a Monday, but I picked up a copy of the game the previous Thursday. And finished the game on Sunday. So what did I do during my vacation? I played it 3 more times.

I've already written about my poker obsession. Nuff said.

And what about Starcraft? Speaking of which, anyone want to play tonight? Just joking. Sorta.

What's the point of this story? I don't know! I'm going to play some Halo 2 now, while listening to Kanye West, and wearing something made by Nike.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

This water's wild!

Highlights of Wild Water Kingdom, July 2005 (aka y'all missed out):

Hotties in bikinis ... Some were even wearing heels.

First time on a 4 storey slide. Damn, my heart was racing. I'm pretty sure for a second that my back wasn't touching the slide. Wicked. I told Shaun it was fun, but he pussed out.

Shaun using SPF 60 sunscreen on his face. "Ashy Larry. Marcy projects, son!"

The buckets. Get the fuck outta my way, stupid kids!

Shaun getting stuck down the tube slide, and abandoning ship. "yo, Shaun, where's your tube?"

Verbal confrontation between two moms. Yelling and finger pointing. Entertainment for the rest of us.

Sunburned. What the? I never get sunburned! You're right, this does hurt... Don't touch my back or shoulders, please.

New Canada day tradition? We'll find out next year. See you thurr!

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Addicted to poker

Hello, my name is Al, and I'm a poker addict.

I play for for free on partypoker.com. I've also downloaded tigergaming and pokerstars to see what they offer. I would play for money, if I wasn't scared of my wife kicking my ass.

I've read everything I could find on the net about poker strategy. Even at work. Sometimes I've read articles twice.

I have my personal video recorder set to record poker, "all episodes, in any time slot", on The Score, Sportsnet, and TSN. I usually have 5+ episodes waiting for me on my recorded list. This morning I checked, and I have 0. I watched them all.

I play in a game once a week. I would play in more, but I'm not a gambler. I'm a poker addict. There's a difference.

Is there something wrong with me?

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Sad state of affairs

It's sunday night, and I'm already thinking of next weekend.

See, we're going to Wild Water Kingdom on friday. I haven't been there in years. And I've never been on one of those crazy high water slides before. Ever. Can Lil Lex do it? Will he "puss out"?

Then, on July 3, we're getting together at Kelso park. It was really fun last year, and we're bringing the dodgeballs again (protect ya neck, headshots are legal)! Bring an extra change of clothes, especially if we're meeting on the canoes again.

Work on Monday. sigh.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

How do you pronounce "Sorry"?

Am I talking with a wacky filipino-canadian accent? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? I have been obsessed with how to pronounce the word "Sorry", ever since the Natty punked me. I was sure I was right ... right?

Is it pronounced sah-reeh (like an Indian sari)?
or is it pronounced soh-reeh (the first syllable like the word "sow")?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Featured on company website

Check this out, I'm featured on my company website:

http://www.tsworld.com/en/outside/inside_news8.html

My co-worker asked for a good picture of me in Paris to put on the site. What you see is the best I could offer.

It's the ROC!

Monday, June 20, 2005

Star Wars in our vernacular

It was funny watching Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 recently, and hearing the origins of a lot of teamID sayings:

HAN: Still, she's got a lot of spirit. I don't know, what do you
think? Do you think a princess and a guy like me...
LUKE: No!

GOLD LEADER: (into mike) I can't maneuver!
GOLD FIVE: Stay on target.
GOLD LEADER: We're too close.
GOLD FIVE: Stay on target!

LUKE: I don't... I don't believe it.
YODA: That is why you fail.

LUKE: Your overconfidence is your weakness.
EMPEROR: Your faith in your friends is yours.

Add some if I missed any.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

PS3 or Xbox 360?

What is on your radar for next generation game console? Well, I don't have all the details, but I know what I like about each:

Xbox 360: releasing Halo 3 Spring 2006

PS3: releasing Metal Gear Solid 4 2006

Well, I guess that means I'm buying them both!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Batman Begins review

Batman Begins is a very good summer movie, and a welcome departure from the previous four in the franchise (especially the last two -- damn you Schumacher). It is darker and grittier, reminiscent of the comic and the animated series of the mid-nineties (as opposed to the corny tv series of the 70's).

Begins is very smart, and well-written, which is rare when it comes to summer action blockbusters. Co-writer/director Christopher Nolan gets props for "righting the ship", and I hope this is the first of many Nolan sequels.

My only criticism with the movie was with the fighting scenes, which consisted of too many blurs, zooms, and quick cuts. We are spoiled by the likes of Yuen Woo Ping (The Matrix, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon). Perhaps they can hire him for a bat-sequel, but I guess they need to figure out how to make the bat-suit more flexible first.

Highly recommended **** out of 5

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Punished by the poker gods

I played in Jay Abiog's weekly poker game for the first time last night. I came in fairly confident -- I mean, I'm not a newbie. I may not win it all, but I can finish top 3, right?

Busted out. First. Both games. How embarrasing. What's worse, I don't think I played any hand wrong. I just slowly watched my chips dwindle as I folded bad hand after bad hand. It was a streak of bad luck as long as Ron Jeremy's ... career.

I think I'll set up a set up a shrine for my pagan god, the Joker, and worship him until next Monday. Please forgive me for whatever sins I have committed against Texas Hold 'Em.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

I love Google!

Has this ever happened to you: You go to a website, and fill out a form. You click submit, and you wait. Nothing is happening. Then the page refreshes. You wait. You watch the status bar at the bottom right fill up as the page is re-loaded. Then you see red text: there are errors in your form. You missed a required field or something. You fill in the required field, and re-submit. Wait. Reload. Red text. Pissed off yet? Me too.

The web works in a client-server relationship. By clicking a link or submitting a form, you are sending data to the web server. The web server responds by sending you an entirely new page. But what if the page didn't change that much? Can't the server just send a small piece of information back to the browser, like "the user didn't fill in the form properly, notify him", and the webpage slightly adjust dynamically?

Enter remote scripting, a technology available to webmasters back 4-5 years ago, but seldomly used due to cross-browser incompatibilities. Fast forward to the present, and we are starting to see rich web applications that have the responsiveness of a desktop app.

The most popular of these remote scripting apps are coming from Google. Yes, they have the wickedest search engine, but they are now diversifying. Take a look at three applications that are currently in beta:

Google Suggest: Type into the search bar, and Google dynamically populates a pull-down menu with suggestions for you. With every few key strokes, Suggest is making a round-trip back to the server and dynamically adjusting the menu. Wicked.

Google Maps: Mapquest WAS nice. Yahoo maps WAS nice. But go to Google maps, and try to find your address. Type something like "255 richmond st e toronto". Click search. Boom. But wait, it gets better. Try to pan the map by clicking and dragging (don't use the arrows, just click somewhere on the map and drag). Holy crap! But wait... it gets better. Try to click the "Satellite" link on the top right corner. Try using directions too, I'm telling you this is fucking wicked (nerd alert).

Gmail: I've got 49 gmail invites if anyone wants to test drive an account. I was skeptical at first -- I mean, I already have an email address. And I already tried web-based email (Hotmail), and it sucked. Soooo slow. Sooo much spam. But now I won't go back. Gmail is that damn good.
  • 2 GB of storage and counting (today, I have 2279 MB)
  • The power of Google search on your email. I don't need to sort shit! I have 500+ emails right now, but I can find anything with one search (like that email when Shaun promised Anth something? search for Shaun blowjob). Boom. There it is.
  • the responsiveness of remote scripting. Inbox. Compose email. Inbox. Compose email.
  • Keyboard shotcuts. Taking it to the old school, just like a BBS!
  • Email replies are threaded. Click one link, see an entire conversation.
The moral of the story: Remote scripting will usher in a new age of web application development.

The real moral: Get your ass over to the Google! Look at him, he loves it (just like it says in the encyclopedia).

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Never work again

As most of you know, I worked one summer for Vector marketing (Selling cutco knives). It was an interesting summer to say the least. My experiences can be a topic for another post, but for now I wanted to share one day in particular.

During one of our workshops, we were given a list of famous quotes, and asked to find one that was compelling. I don't remember the objective of the workshop, but I do remember the quote that made me stop and think:

Find a job doing something you love, and you will never work a day in your life
Until I read this, I always thought of work as a chore. Means to other ends. And yes, as I sit here writing this blog during work hours, I would rather be somewhere else (like sitting outside having a rye and ginger!). But after reading this it really struck a chord.

Take, for example, my last 8 months, working on a big content management tool project, and how the time just flew by. How I worked 9-10 hour days, and even brought work home, but didn't really complain. Working during Christmas break, and Easter break? no problem. The project was fulfilling for me. I was learning new programming languages, being challenged, solving problems -- it was great. Every day was exciting, and because of that, I never really felt like I was working.

Does this mean that if you find a job doing something you love, that it should become your life? Hell no! I place great importance over my time with my wife, my weekends, and I would never put off holidays because "It's too busy at work", or "Nobody else knows how to do it properly". Eff that! The quote tells us that we deserve happiness at our job just as much as when we are away from it. Why not, right?

Ask yourself, "Am I working somewhere doing something I love?" It doesn't have to be specific, like "playing video games", or "swimming". It can be something like "helping others", or "creative writing". I ask myself that question all the time, and for now, the answer is "yes". The "for now" part is important, because if it ever changes, I know I need to move on and find something new.

If your answer is "no", then you need to ask yourself, "why am I still working here?"

Bored at work!

Well, it took a while to make the plunge and start my own blog, but the utter boredom at work has left me with no other choice!

Do I have any good stories to tell? Wonderful insight? Humerous anecdotes? no, not really. So why should you read my blog? Well, if you're bored as well, then there really isn't anything better to do, so you might as well read it!